Dog watches dog 27.05.04

Flagging a dead horse

The Campaign for Real Exclusives takes a football theme this week.

TITLE: Daily Star, Thursday 20 May


SOURCE: Evening Mail, Birmingham, Wednesday 19 May

NOMINATED BY: Evening Mail deputy Colin Clark

NOMINATOR’S COMMENT: “On the day the Star unveiled its exclusive the Evening Mail was splashing on the fact that the pubs had been forced into a major U-turn. Lo and behold, the ‘first with the news’ Daily Star then announced it was No 1 for football by claiming victory in the flags ban as IT forced a change of mind. So proud was the Star that it devoted a special Star Says to its memorable win! I don’t know about this being a memorable result for the Star. It wasn’t even at the kick-off when we broke the story and the whistle had long gone when it claimed victory.”



The Old Bedfordians Touring XI – an assortment of globe-trotting cricketing hacks – is in a state of excitement. The team visits Latvia next month and, fingers crossed, this time the players may actually win a match, which will be something of a novelty.

So far, the Old Beds have toured Australia, Argentina, Bali, Cuba, Chile, Cyprus, New Zealand, Vietnam, India, Portugal, Ireland, Guernsey and France. And have won only one game – in Cuba, where cricket is almost as unknown as it is in Latvia.

One of the Old Beds’ stars, Bryan Rimmer, told Dog: “Officially we are celebrating the 10 new members of the EU by going to Latvia and will be playing the country’s diplomatic corps on June 5.”

But at least one of the ambassadors does know something about cricket – Britain’s man in Latvia, Andrew Tesoriere. So the Old Beds have snatched him to bolster their side. As Rimmer adds, “We don’t want to take any chances.”


Charts in their eyes

Could FHMbecome the first magazine to have a number-one hit single? That’s the plan next month as it releases a charity record for Breakthrough Breast Cancer – the first time a magazine has put out its own single. (Lionel Ritchie’s hit Hello! was not about the celeb magazine, apparently).

The song is a funky pop/dance take on the Rod Stewart classic, Do Ya Think I’m Sexy and is produced by pop/dance production house, Blackburn’s All Around The World (it says here).

Fortunately for the single’s chances of getting to number one, editor David Davies doesn’t do the singing.

A type of bargain

Dog allowed himself a twinge of nostalgia when an advertising flyer for a manual typewriter dropped on his desk. The copywriter waxed lyrical: “There’s nothing more satisfying than the click, click of a traditional typewriter”.

How true, how true. But what’s this? “The price is £49.99. Save £1,000.” You mean that old portable gathering dust in the attic could be worth over a grand? Alas the small print dashes Dog’s hopes.

“Save £1,000 on the cost of a new computer, printer and electric bills.”

Oh well, full marks for lateral thinking to Bright-Life UK.


Pesky Piers foils Blair again

The Loch Fyne Oyster Bar car park may yet pass into British political history as the venue where John Prescott and Gordon Brown hatched their plan for the postBlair era, but Dog can exclusively reveal the identity of the man responsible for the story breaking. Piers Morgan.

Sunday Herald diarist and associate editor Alan Taylor had filed a story about the Mirror editor on the Friday morning, before Trinity boss Sly Bailey threw a spanner in the works by firing him.

Desperately needing a 400-word replacement for first thing on Saturday, Taylor dredged deep into his memory to recall a colleague’s passing remark about the two politicians.

He checked it out and duly filed the story about their hour-long huddle in the car park – which was picked up and given the frontpage treatment by editor Andrew Jaspan. The rest of the media were quick to pick up on the story.

Apparently, the oyster bar has been booked solid ever since.


Divorce shock for diamond couple

Dog has a confession. The usually immaculate (surely, catastrophically chaotic? – Ed) filing system at the kennel has gone slightly awry. Which leaves us unable to reveal the identity of the newspaper which published this beautifully judged and touching juxtaposition of story and picture.

With any luck the alert spotter who sent it to us will step forward to claim the usual lavish tip fee.


“Let’s hope the Oldham Evening Chronicle’s good-taste sensors have been recalibrated,” said Dog a couple of months ago after the newspaper headlined an article on Parkinson’s Disease “Shaken but not stirred”.
It seems not. Here’s an intro from the same paper last week on the sensitive subject of wife beating.




From the Croydon Advertiser. An unusual Christian name? Or a reporter not quite au fait with the South London accent?

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