Dog watches dog 11.03.05


Paul Field, headhunted to lead the British Brain Drain to head the
relaunch of the National Enquirer , has called home for help. Or
rather, emailed home.

In a round-robin email that somehow ended up in Dog’s inbox, Field,
feeling “guilty for not having been in touch with so many people for so
long” nonetheless pleads for all his all mates and contacts to send him
stuff to fill up the magazine. “As with every other job I’ve taken in
the last 10 years or so, I can’t do it properly without the support of
great freelances, agents, publicists, lawyers and friends,î he gushes.

one of the reasons I’m shamelessly sending this email! We’re
re-launching in a month’s time with a redesign and new columnists like
Anna Nicole Smith and Debbie Frank – dinner last week in Los Angeles
with larger-than-life Anna was one of the craziest evenings I have ever

“Most importantly, we’re going to be introducing a
greater mix of stories to the National Enquirer … So, if you have a
humdinger of a American showbiz story, a great human interest diet
story that easily crosses the Atlantic or any other ideas, please let
me know.”

Even the top hacks need a little help from their friends, sometimes.

Extremely interesting

Financial Management ‘s “Extreme Accounting” competition is
challenging readers to take their copies of the magazine out to the
most bizarre destinations possible. 

So far, reader Andy Kelly, private secretary to the Iraqi minister of defence, has scored the highest marks.

Dog thinks the photo needs more careful analysis. Remember what
happened to Piers Morgan.Hill’s angels keep Barnsley in top form The
Stop Press column in the Barnsley FC programme, written by a guest
journalist every home game, is celebrating its 400th contributor –
Clare Balding of the BBC –after appearing without a break since its
launch in 1974.

It’s organised by Benny Hill, the former
Sheffield Morning Telegraph sports editor and life-long Barnsley fan,
and as in the great Yorkshire tradition, nobody has ever been paid a
penny for their 400 words.

It’s all down to Benny’s silver tongue extensive contacts, and a free programme through the post.

follows in the footsteps of such well-known names as John Motson,
Martin Tyler, Jim Rosenthal, Steve Curry, Ian Ridley, Frank Keating,
John Sadler, David Walsh and countless others.

Benny retired from
the Sheffield Star 14 years ago but has stayed in charge of ‘his page’,
commissioning and subbing, to make its contributors list the envy of
many a Premiership programme.

Worm’s good turn for yoga

Computer viruses are usually the bane of freelances’ lives. But Dog
has come across one for whom the reverse is true – sports writer Eric
Kendall, who recalls this bizarre, but true, sequence of events. 

After receiving an email from a friend of his, Kendall found that
his computer had been infected by a virus that was picking random
documents from its hard drive and was merrily sending them wily nily to
everyone in his email address book, along with the message ‘What do you
think of this?’.One of them went to the editor of GQ South Africa at
the time, Abdul Milazi, whom Kendall hadn’t heard from in years. Milazi
emailed back. 

“Would love to run this piece on Extreme Yoga. Got any pics?” 

What are the odds on that happening?, wonders Kendall. “Am I the
only person in the history of computing to whom a virus has done a good

Beardless Hatfield waxes lyrical

Following Dog’s plea from the Bearded Liberation Front last week, to
find more hairy-faced newspaper editors, a letter arrives from Amanda
Hatfield, group editor of Mid Derbyshire and Matlock Newspapers. 

“Those great beards of yesteryear that you refer to have not only
been confined to the barber’s floor of history,” she says. “Some, like
mine, must have seen their demise at the hands of a beautician in the
waxing salon.

“It has been many a year, much wax, and even more pain since my beard has seen the light of day.

Now you tell me that had I only kept it I would have been in line for an honour by the Beard Liberation Front.

it were not for the distress I know it would cause in my newrooms I
would stop the said waxing immediately to enable me to take part – but
perhaps discretion is the better part of valour.”

Worthy of an honorary place in the BLF’s hall of fame, surely.


From the Kent on Sunday ‘s review section of February
27. The good people of Tonbridge are always pleased to see their
winning local lass Kelly Holmes in the flesh. But, they were left
wondering by this full-page advertisement, how can we get to an event
that happened three months ago?



How uncle Lew helped Michael make the grade

As BBC chairman Michael Grade comes to terms with Media Secretary
Tessa Jowell’s rewrite job on the corporation’s Charter, retired
Glasgow newsman Gordon Airs hopes he is taking his family’s opinions to

Airs, a legendary figure himself as the Scottish Daily Record ‘s
chief reporter, recalls Grade regaling a Newspaper Press Fund lunch in
Glasgow with a salutary tale from his uncle Lew.

explained that when he started in the family entertainment business,
his uncle, the flamboyant cigar-puffing show biz mogul Lord Grade, gave
him some friendy advice.

“Remember, if at first you don’t succeed,” said Uncle Lew, “You’re fired.”


The Standard spots a new trend – maniacs taking their cars ice skating.

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