Good moos: a giant plastic cow
Old MacMurdoch had a farm and on his farm he hadâ€¦
Pull de udder oneâ€¦ things get weirder and weirder on The Sun’s revamped editorial floor. The old red telephone kiosk and carpet of many colours have now been joined by a giant plastic cow, complete with huge udders, and a model of Indiana Jones cracking a whip.
Indi’s job, positioned appropriately enough beside the Bizarre desk, is presumably to make sure that the hacks work that little bit harder, with the threat of a good whipping sufficient to ensure no recidivists sneak off early to the pub.
The role of the cow is a little less obvious. It’s covered with great Sun headlines from the past like “Gotcha” and “Freddie Starr ate my hamster”, along with the slogan “the world’s greatest moos-paper”.
But while the horns appear to be pointing at the City desk, perhaps on account of the dilemma the financial whizzkids face every day as they stick in pins to decide which shares to back, the poor subs on the Irish desk find themselves staring up its backside.
It surely can’t be a veiled comment on their copy, can it?
From the Ilford Recorder. What is an Iardie gangster, Dog wonders? A yardie gangster from Ilford, presumably
La Manga mayhem
When putting together its awards night, the Sports Journalists’ Association must have been delighted to secure a fine prize for the charity raffle.
But they didn’t figure that events in the sporting world would mean that when host Barry Davies announced the prize, the room would dissolve into fits of laughter.
The prize? An all-expenses-paid trip to the Spanish resort of La Manga – where three Leicester City players remain locked up after accusations of rape, and where no small number of those at the awards had just spent plenty of time covering the story.
Meanwhile, Dog was delighted to hear Daily Mail sports hound Charlie Sale’s speech when he collected the Sports Diarist of the Year award.
“This is for Alfie,” said Sale simply.
Alfie, alert Dog fans will remember, is Sale’s King Charles spaniel, whom he absent-mindedly left chained up for six hours outside his local newsagent’s last month. We hope the trophy will take pride of place in his kennel.
A very public mobile dumping
The protagonist of this story, a regional newspaper journalist, shall remain nameless to spare his blushes. But rest assured Dog is not making this up.
Having had a late-night bust-up with his girlfriend, our man storms out and reaches for his mobile phone to send her a text. “That’s it. It’s all over. Have a nice life.”
Unfortunately, his mobile is a new-fangled one with rather more functions on it than he really understands. Yes, you’ve guessed it, he manages to activate the “send all” function – thus ensuring that his message goes to every number in his mobile phone’s memory. That includes his boss, his colleagues and several of his contacts.
Due to the lateness of the hour and the rather alarming-sounding message, several of them imagine it must be some sort of bizarre suicide text message.
Suddenly his phone is inundated with calls from people telling him not to do anything silly and that everything will look different in the morning.
The following day, he sends another “send all” text. “Thanks to those who were so concerned about me last night. The rest of you, don’t expect a Christmas card.”
A headline from Alabama’s Gadsden Times website to strike fear into the heart of BBC executives everywhere. Given that the maverick reporter’s infamous 6.07am broadcast was from his living room, they could be forgiven for thinking that this was what got him into trouble in the first place. Relax, lads. Closer inspection reveals the Gilligan in question to be the actor who starred in Sixties US sitcom Gilligan’s Island.
Campbell lets loose on friends and foes
There is certainly no love lost between Alastair Campbell and Associated Newspapers. In a magazine Q&A session he lets rip: “The journalists I can’t stand are the liarsâ€¦ so I can’t rip in to you. But I will rip into the Daily Mail.
“Don’t read it. It’s vile. Tony never used to let me say what I thought about the Mail. If they think this place is a Third World shithole, then they should really go and live in a real Third World country and find out what it’s really like.”
Campbell takes a couple of swipes at the Daily Mirror too. “I used to work there. I’m very fond of the Mirror. I just wish it was more in tune with the Labour people.” And on Piers Morgan: “I’m not sure he’s the greatest editor in the history of the Daily Mirror.”
On the 3am girls: “I think it was one of the low points when they went home with the columnists of the year at the press awards. I mean, geez, I thought it was a bit dire.”
Campbell was being interviewed by the London-based Aussie mag TNT (1 March issue).
Finally, he says, he loved a headline in a Sydney paper, which said over a picture of Blair: “Nice kinda bastard.”
A helping hand
It’s far from a dog eat dog world in Dagenham. Such is the bonhomie between former rivals from the Barking & Dagenham Recorder and the Barking & Dagenham Post, they’ve even started helping each other.
Take last week’s Post vox pop asking shoppers if the licencefee system should be replaced by a pay-per-view scheme.
The views of a bespectacled Jules Dann, “artist of Gale Street, Dagenham” are quoted alongside her picture.
Could she be in any way related to the remarkably similar looking Jules Dann who is also a photographer for the Recorder? Dog can’t help wondering if such a helpful attitude would have been on display before the Post became part of the Archant stable – which also happens to house the Recorder.