You might say the Daily Star has gone loo-ny in its pursuit of giving readers more than just bog standard news updates on the coronavirus outbreak.
The tabloid has offered a “cunning solution” to readers caught short by the panic-buying of loo roll: cut-out sheets of paper to wipe yourself with.
The sheets surround its coronavirus reporting on pages eight and nine today, giving new meaning to the Wiper’s Times.
Stockpilers have raided supermarkets across the UK over the past week for toilet roll and other items such as hand sanitiser and pasta.
Boris Johnson yesterday urged shoppers to “behave responsibly” and said there was “no advice from the scientific advisers or medical officers that there’s any need for people to buy stuff in”.
The Star described itself as “number one for number twos” in its splash today and told readers it was “heeding” Johnson’s call “by providing a cunning solution to the loo roll crisis that’s been sparked by panic over coronavirus”.
Its “thought of the day” bubble within the front page masthead was also on message, describing itself as “a surprisingly soft and absorbent newspaper”.
And the paper’s leader column told readers it had “come to the rescue” amid the “messy situation”, adding: “We’ve always got your back (side).”
A Daily Star spokesperson told Press Gazette: “Britain’s bog roll bandits deserve to be panned for their selfish behaviour.
“This newspaper always aims to get to the bottom of every issue and we were really browned off watching supermarket shelves being stripped clean.
“Readers know we won’t sit on our backsides and watch this country go to the bogs, er sorry, dogs.”
In Australia last week the NT News tabloid printed eight pages of its own “one-ply” toilet roll template to help those who could not find any in shops amid similar scenes of panic buying down under.