Telegraph party-pooper seeks to dilute the Christmas spirit

As it is the middle of Christmas Party season Axegrinder was somewhat perturbed this morning on the Jubilee Line passing through Westminster.

While the detritus of last night’s excesses had been wiped clean from the carriage, The Telegraph was sending out decidedly mixed messages.

Page eight of today’s edition featured three stories from the science, consumer and social affairs desks. On its own, each story is a fine piece of journalism. But on the same page they give a slightly confused message.

Sarah Knapton, science correspondent brings us the welcome news that a “Glass a wine a day could fight infections”. As Axegrinder can attest, wine does indeed ward-off the threat of plague, pox and even the dreaded man flu.

While Steve Hawkes on the consumer affairs desk says “Beer drinkers opt for quality over quantity”.

It was as if the Telegraph had been hacking into Axegrinder’s own mind.

But then, peering just above the fold, social affairs editor John Bingham – or party pooper in chief – as he shall be known from now on, proclaims: “Middle-aged drinking more than the young”.

He then proceeds to list many of the dire consequences of imbibing on a regular basis.

In such circumstances, Axegrinder can only recommend consulting a world-renowned expert on the issue who was quoted earlier this week in The Telegraph. 

“I did quite enjoy the days when one went for a beer at one’s local in Paris and woke up in Corsica.” – Peter O’Toole. 

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