Word reaches me of strange nocturnal goings on at the Press Association’s Victoria office, where a family of rats is believed to have moved in.
My mole [shouldn’t that be rat, ed] tells me the following:
“Thought you might be interested in the new arrivals at the Press Association’s Victoria office – a family of rats.
“The night editor – a no-nonsense Northerner, known for his cool head and quick temper – didn’t believe the poor reporters when he was first told and refused to think it could be anything other than a little mouse. “That was until Daddy Rat sauntered up to the desk to check him out. The poor night ed leapt on to the desk quicker than Daddy Rat up a drain pipe. Luckily picture desk were on hand to scare the beast away and even tried to catch the rodent with a straw hat. However he remains at large and the night editor has taken to keeping an umbrella at his side in case Daddy Rat attacks again.”
Official sources at PA were unable to confirm this version of events. But they did say there had been a rat sighting and said that a final solution to the problem was being formulated by the facilities department.