Maximum Impact 18.11.05

IT’S BEEN a fairly typical week.

On Friday I was at the BBC TV
Children in Need charity launch, on Sunday I presented Simon Cowell
(left) with his Variety Club showbiz personality of the year award at
the Hilton, and tonight I’m at the Dorchester, speaking at a
fundraising ball in aid of the Rhys Daniels Trust – what a load of
balls.

On the business side, the parents of Natasia Jackman, the
15-yearold school girl stabbed five times with a pair of scissors at a
school in Surrey, came to see me on Tuesday and have asked me to
represent them. Naturally Natasia won’t be giving any interviews until
the after the legal process has run its course. And on Wednesday I had
a call from the parents of a young lady who Wayne Rooney had “bumped
into” in a Manchester nightclub. The same day two parents independently
came forward claiming that their daughters were sexually assaulted by
rich and very famous people.

Oh, and in the spirit of Christmas
and goodwill to all men – especially young ones in his case – convicted
sex offender and former pop impresario Jonathan King (below) has
released the following tribute song in my honour.

You may not believe me, But they call him the Silver Stoat.

With his slick white hair and his slippery tongue He’s more of a snake than a goat.

And
you may not believe them, But he claims to think it’s true; Though it
could be a lie to cover his tracks In case they decide to sue.

Chorus And oo he’s gonna screw you; Oo… stickin’ it to you.

He’s gonna do what it pays him to do Until his life is through.

They may not believe him In his tabloid position of strength, But they can buy his stories Conveniently, at arm’s length.

And
you may not believe him When he helps the police and press To convict
all innocent victims With headlines of pain and distress.

See his fingers Pink with blood and tears, Planting rumours; Catering to your fears.

Horrid fictions, Few of them are true, But he’s doing nicely, He’s far richer than you.

You may not believe him, As he sucks on Satan’s bile, But the evil he disseminates Is absolutely vile.

And you may not believe him, And the poison that he’s spread, But everyone he’s ever cared for Has ended up crippled or dead.

To
have inspired these sentiments from such a giving character as Jonathan
King, my 40 years in the PR industry haven’t been wasted.

It’s
nice to know that Jonathan appreciates the crucial role I played back
in 2001 in revealing him to the world in his full glory, for what he
really is. Hopefully somebody else I helped expose from the music
business – Gary Glitter – will be prompted to record his tribute so I
can enjoy a Christmas double.

So, a fairly normal week – no death threats as yet, but it is only Thursday.

The fee for this column goes to CHASE (Christophers) Children’s Hospital

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