It's called 'missing an open goal'

asd2

PITY the People’s poor Tom Mctague. His byline was on a story at the weekend, oh-so-wittily headed ‘Shop Till Roo Drop’, telling how Coleen Rooney had ’swooped’ on a Costco discount warehouse in Liverpool with her mother and brother.

“Bargains snapped up by Mrs Rooney,” wrote Tom, “included 640 sticks of chewing gum, 36 pitta breads, 150 Chuppa Chups lollies, one Minky ironing board and – strangely for the childless couple – 640 baby wipes.”

Strangely for the childless couple? Indeed. Just one phone call might have got Tom the news that most other tabloids already had – Coleen is expecting a spud-faced nipper, and therefore has a use in mind for those 640 baby wipes.

I’d feel sorry for the poor chap, but anyone who writes 1960’s cliched crap like: “And she swerved through the aisles with the same skill that the other half shows terrorising defences on a Saturday afternoon at Old Trafford,” deserves as much shame as we can heap upon him.

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