Dog watches dog 29.04.04

Sex secrets and Fenland filthy lucre

Shocking sex secrets on page 4, left, and personal services on page 68

Sex industry secrets are laid bare,” said the Cambs Times, revealing that Cambridgeshire now boasts 70 brothels.

Adverts in local newspapers for massage and escorts showed the extent to which the trade was booming, the piece explained. It quoted BBC journalist Max Rushden explaining his investigation. “A massage parlour is normally a classier name for a brothel,” he says.

“It’s illegal to live off immoral earnings and illegal to advertise for sexual services, although not to advertise for massage or escort services.”

Perhaps the Times could have conducted its own investigation.

Sure enough, a few pages further on in that very issue’s personal columns, we find: “Busty Blonde, very attractive, offers discreet massage”; “Lucy, Top Class Company – very discreet”; and “Suzy, new to area, offers fun and relaxing massage.”

 

The Duchess of York has been called many things in her uneasy relationship with the press, as she herself recalled last week in front of a glittering array of magazine editors and beauty industry execs.

But never let it be said that she bears a grudge. In fact, she wants to join our ranks. Interviewed by Mail on Sunday You magazine editor Sue Peart – pictured above with the Duchess – in front of an 420-strong audience at the Carlton Tower hotel, Fergie revealed that she would like a new man, a new baby and more work in the UK.

In fact, confessed the writer of the Budgie the Helicopter stories, she would rather like a newspaper column and invited Fleet Street to get in touch with her.

It should be pointed out that in any rush to sign up the Duchess, the Daily Mirror may well find itself at the back of the queue.

With a hint of revenge on her lips, Fergie wincingly recalled that it was the Mirror that first gave her one of the most hurtful epithets, the “Duchess of Pork”.

Luggy blow for Herald

The Plymouth Evening Herald’s enterprising editor, Alan Qualtrough, may be robbed of a second exclusive big-time signing from the football world. Earlier this year, Qualtrough pulled of a major coup by fielding Plymouth Argyle’s erudite and gourmet manager, Paul Sturrock, as an occasional restaurant reviewer.

“Luggy’s Lowdown” proved a resounding hit with Herald readers and it was something of a blow when Sturrock was lured to Southampton to replace Gordon Strachan as boss. It looks as if Sturrock’s successor at Argyle, ex-Hibs boss Bobby Williamson, won’t be assuming the extra-mural role of his predecessor.

The rotund Williamson has ruled it out, adding: “But if it’s a Budweiser reviewer they’re needing…” Meantime, Dog’s barker in Southampton informs the kennel that the Evening Echo could be considering making a bid for Sturrock’s talents in turning his epicurean pursuits into circulation-boosting copy.

There’s nothing more annoying than events instantly rendering an “exclusive” out-of-date, but that’s what happened to Manchester’s weekly listings magazine City Life last week. It was plugging its relaunch under new editor David Lloyd with an exclusive interview with Coronation Street’s “gay kiss” actor Bruno Langley. Its cover screamed “Bruno Langley bares all,” but, sadly, not quite all. The feature contained no mention of the actor’s decision to quit the soap, which he announced just two days after the relaunch issue hit the streets. Oops.

All steamed up over flipping Flying Scotsman

The detail, left, from a Heritage Railway feature, proves the pic trickery

Dog is cautious about getting involved in arguments between steam railway enthusiasts, but the kennel’s attention has been drawn to the latest issue of Steam Railway.

In its Mixed Traffic column, a reader complains bitterly about a Daily Mail spread about the Flying Scotsman, in which the picture of the famous locomotive had been reversed to suit the page design.

“Shame on you, Daily Mail”, agrees columnist Tony Streeter, unimpressed with such digital photographic trickery.

But what’s this, Dog’s anonymous correspondent expostulates? The front page of that very issue of Emap’s Steam Railway is a picture of the Scotsman that has been – wait for it – digitally enhanced.

Instead of the rather dull scenery of the siding in Southall, West London, where the loco currently resides (keep awake at the back there), the backdrop is of rolling hills and deep blue skies.

And where could this more photogenic backdrop have been borrowed from? A centre spread in rival Heritage Railway magazine shows the answer.

Those distant hills are in fact Llangollen, Denbighshire, some 189 miles away from the train’s current home.

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