Dog watches dog 09.09.04

 

 

 

 

Strange things are afoot on Press Gazette’s sister title Media Week.
First there was the appearance of a scantilyclad young lady for a photo
shoot. She was swiftly followed by the appearance of an even more buxom
model wearing even fewer clothes – because the first pictures hadn’t
turned out saucy enough.

Whatever could be going on? All is revealed when a short, shouty man
appears in the MW office on Wednesday. It’s none other than Kelvin
MacKenzie, the legendary former Sun editor who has agreed to roll back
the years and become guest editor of the business title for a week.

And it turns out he’s already been throwing his weight about even
before his arrival. Reporter Ian Quinn had interviewed MacKenzie for a
piece to run the week before his guest editorship.

Before it was published, MacKenzie rang demanding to know what he was writing.

Quinn explained the magazine’s policy of not giving copy approval
and that he couldn’t possibly tell him. “Course you can,” growled
MacKenzie. “I’m your fucking editor.”

 

Something about the way you look…

People undercover investigator Liz Knight got all hot and bothered
as she panted on about the saucy goings-on at “Swingers Junction” in
last Sunday’s paper.

At one point she revealed how a bloke called Derek, looking rather
like a canary in drainpipe jeans and a yellow shirt, sidled up and told
her: “I love a good bit of BOGGING.”

Clean-living Knight had obviously never heard the term before. But
she breathlessly confided to readers in her spread headlined Land of
Grope and Orgy: “This, we are informed, is the slang term for watching
others have sex.”

Bogging? Surely, as Stan Collymore and regular readers of this
column will be all too aware, the term is DOGGING (not, of course, that
we have any of that going on in MY kennel here at Press Gazette).

But one is left wondering whether, if Knight is such an innocent
that she doesn’t know the difference between dogging and bogging (which
sounds rather like some unpleasant lavatorial practice), she is really
the sort of girl that cynical news editors should be sending along to
such sordid places? Back to covering the village fête and Women’s
Institute meetings, Liz.

On the left is Maxim’s spread from its November edition. On the
right, Monday’s Daily Mail. Great minds thinking alike? You decide.
Except that the lads’ mag’s picture department had added the glasses to
its picture of Elton John. Uncanny that the Mail should have thought to
do the same.

“I was shocked and outraged when I realised the Mail had stolen our
story,” said Maxim editor Greg Gutfeld. “By way of revenge, we plan to
copy some of its ideas. December’s Maxim will be full of stories from
the Mail, including one about foul-smelling foreigners spreading
disease through tainted video games, and another that reveals the link
between mad cow disease, child pornography and Haitians.”

 

Media Guardian’s front cover picture this week featured Sky TV’s Vic
Wakeling.  But take a look at those clock faces above his head.
New York and Los Angeles are usually five hours and nine hours behind
London, not one hour and two hours ahead as shown. It must be playing
havoc with all those satellite bookings.

 

 

 

People undercover investigator Liz Knight got all hot and bothered
as she panted on about the saucy goings-on at “Swingers Junction” in
last Sunday’s paper.

At one point she revealed how a bloke called Derek, looking rather
like a canary in drainpipe jeans and a yellow shirt, sidled up and told
her: “I love a good bit of BOGGING.”

Clean-living Knight had obviously never heard the term before. But
she breathlessly confided to readers in her spread headlined Land of
Grope and Orgy: “This, we are informed, is the slang term for watching
others have sex.”

Bogging? Surely, as Stan Collymore and regular readers of this
column will be all too aware, the term is DOGGING (not, of course, that
we have any of that going on in MY kennel here at Press Gazette).

But one is left wondering whether, if Knight is such an innocent
that she doesn’t know the difference between dogging and bogging (which
sounds rather like some unpleasant lavatorial practice), she is really
the sort of girl that cynical news editors should be sending along to
such sordid places? Back to covering the village fête and Women’s
Institute meetings, Liz.

 

A play on words?

Dog’s favourite intro of the week comes from the Associated Press wire story datelined Kalamazoo, Michigan.

“A freelance reporter for Western Michigan University’s student-run
radio station was expelled from the Republican National Convention
after security officers found him with a piece of paper that read ‘I’m
gonna kill the president’.”

Dan Jones, who was covering the convention at New York’s Madison
Square Garden, said the words were written in his notebook because he
was planning to attend an offBroadway play about terrorism in
modern-day America.

The play’s title is, I’m gonna kill the President.

He was questioned by the Security Service for three hours and was
grilled about his family, his school, his career and how he felt about
September 11.

Note to journalists planning to visit the Labour party conference
next month: clear your notebooks of any reference to the Edinburgh
Festival production, The Queen Must Die.

 

?? Congratulations to Simon Kelner, named editor of the year in GQ’s
Men of the Year awards. Dog is sure his triumph would have nothing to
do with his other role – as contributing editor to GQ.

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