Debt, Liz? You haven’t a clue.

I have a theory that it was the rise of Tanya Gold that finally pushed Liz-fucking-Jones over the edge. Let’s face it, the Queen of the Cringing Confessional wouldn’t have relished seeing the Guardian’s big-footed fatty attracting more outraged readers to her comments field than the original Deranged of Derry Street.

Hence the increasingly lunatic, shotgun-dodging witterings, culminating in yesterday’s Daily Mail spread in which the poor woman complained about being £150,000 in debt due to ridiculous extravagance caused by insecurity and poor self-image.

Good God, the vacuous cow even admits to turning down a ‘two-for-one’ on her £8.95 tube of toothpaste (yes, £8.95) because she couldn’t be bothered to walk back down the aisle to collect the freebie.

But let’s have a bit of context here. As far as I can ascertain, Ms Jones is paid a salary not unadjacent to £450,000 a year. (And given her prodigious output, I wouldn’t argue that she didn’t deserve it.)

However, is there any hack out there who isn’t in debt to the tune of a third of their annual salary? I very much doubt it. And that’s without investing in a holistic sheep shearer or some organic pasta from Carluccios’s with which to feed the ‘rescue’ chickens.